Leaving the Negative and Going to the Positive

Hello Everyone,

Sorry for the long time no post, but this past week has been very trying and straining on me. My wonderful aunt that was out here for two months went back home to Honduras last sunday. I miss her so much. She was always supportive, very kind, and one of those people that i know without a doubt believes in me. I also got a new job! Wohoo. And i am very excited for this new oppertunity and adventure. Plus it is something to put a little pep in my step, and start working towards my main goals of being more independant and self sufficient. What has been just tearing my down, is my continually declining relationship with my mother. We fight all the time and it completely brings down my self esteem and confidence.There is nothing positive that comes out in our "conversations" as she like to put it, and i running out of options on how to change my behavior to better suit her. Sometimes in life there are people, without explanation that just are not the right people that need to be in your life. Unfortunately my mother is one of them. I have many times this week contemplated suicide because i have just run out of options.I don't know how to talk to her, she frightens me, and alot of the time she says things that are so hurtful, all i can do is cry.Maybe the best decision is to pack my bags and say, "I cannot be around you anymore, I love you, but your presence in my life is a negative one." I feel alone, like I am a one woman army against the whole world. Nothing i say or do is ever right. I am the black sheep, and nothing is going to change that. Yep i am going to pack a bag and just go. It is what is best for my mental and physical health because I am not emotional safe at this place. Till next time....

With Much Love
Ashley